My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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