She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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