genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize