Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize