Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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