If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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