Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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