so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize