Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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