You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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