Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize