Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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