Please, let me fuck your mom
Quick, to the slutcave!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She needs sedatives and a leash
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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