we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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