Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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