Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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