It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize