Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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