There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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