I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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