he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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