Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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