bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize