Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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