things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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