You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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