Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
