Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
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Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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