She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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