We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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