It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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