i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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