"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize