You smell like stripper and shame
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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