I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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