hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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