Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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