It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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