No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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