Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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