my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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