He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize