I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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