yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Only a mothe r could love this liver
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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