sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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