You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
FUCK WHALES
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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