I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
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My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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