I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize