We're facebook friends in real life
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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