So drunk its hurt
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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