He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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