Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We talked him into tasing himself.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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