So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I will pee on everything he values.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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